The World According To The Person Who ‘Scream-Talks’ On Their Phone

Are you the emo kid that hates people? Do you fancy upping that game a little? Ever thought about the random idiot who doesn’t give a dead frog’s carcass about how uncomfortable his loud phone talk is making other people? Strangely, this phenomenon lasts for precisely the amount of time it takes to piss you off.

He goes on talking on his phone like he never pissed anyone off. He escapes… unscathed. An office setting isn’t immune to such schmucks either. Your inability to throw your work laptop at this guy’s face makes it more frustrating.

This list is an attempt to cope with that. 

And, so, here are the thoughts I imagine go through the mind of this person. We all know one:

1. “I haven’t been smacked in the face forever now…”

2. “Sound amplifiers in smartphones? What sound amplifiers?”

Gifer

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3. “Wait, people with ears don’t exist.”

4. “Messy phone network? I should talk louder. Yeah, that should fix it.”

5. “Are they looking at me yet?”

6. “Loving the free publicity.”

7. “How loud I speak is directly proportional to the number of people present.”

8. “I love starring in my own movie. About me. Because of me.”

9. “I’m more than my human self and…”

10. “Is there even a person on the other end of line? Scratch that. That doesn’t matter.”

gifer

11. “I’m such a good public speaker. Can’t let that talent go to waste.”

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12. “Love my phone voice.”

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13. “On a call with someone on Mars. Yeah, this works.”

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And you know the worst part? You’re not getting rid of this babbling baboon anytime soon.

gifer

Main card image: freakingnews.com